Are you measuring yourself by the right metrics ?

Image result for measure peopleMark Manson in this book I’ve recently read, talks about successful people that feel depressed and unhappy although – looking at their situation outside – they don’t seem to have any reason.

One of them is D.Mustaine, that was kicked out by his previous band – Metallica. He formed another very successfully band – Megadeth – that sold millions of records, but he never felt enough compared to Metallica that sold 7 times his band.

That’s because he chose a comparison with a more successful band as a metric.

Another example is given to a short man that measure himself by his height, and failed at dating as he was holding to his metric, and assumed nobody was interested in him. Even if somebody was interested, his assumption led him to wrong evaluations and failures.

Bad metrics

In general, any metric that is out of control is a bad metric, e.g. being popular (you can’t control that) or being tall (from the example above, not something you can change). Material things (including money) are not good a good metric either. If the metric of success if having a car and a house, once we have them we might end up in a life crisis. The problem that we were supposed to solve (buying them) is now gone, leaving us empty. I personally felt a lack of motivation after a few months I walked in my own flat, and took some time to find new targets, I know now why.

Good metrics, and how to change and see things differently

Good metrics are based on reality, helpfulness to society, and have an immediate and controllable effect. Examples: honesty, creativity, and generosity.

Living abroad also helps to adjust our metrics. In a different environment, we’ll see people living with entirely different values and still functioning. Western and Eastern cultures are known for being very different for example.

Changing metrics is difficult, it’ll make us feel disoriented and feel a sort of fraud to ourselves. But it’s normal, and the good news is that is possible with time and effort, step by step. Changing is painful, but there is no other solution, and being aware is already a big step ahead.

What are your metrics/values ? write that in the comments


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